Will Marcus from Tallahassee hear back from his ex this week?

Yes sir 12%

Touch grass 88%

Will pigeons unionize by 2027?

Bet 38%

Cope 62%

Will Priya from Boise regret her latest purchase?

Absolutely 81%

Doubt it 19%

Will the moon develop a vape habit?

Lock it in 27%

Hard pass 73%

Will this LinkedIn post go viral?

Send it 9%

Nope 91%

Will the Wi-Fi work tomorrow morning?

Yup 44%

Negative 56%

Will Jenna from Spokane finish her side project this year?

On god 18%

Big no 82%

Will $20 be the new $5 by year end?

Affirmative 71%

Nah 29%

Will Theo from Buffalo's fern survive the week?

Heck yes 33%

Ew no 67%

Will Greg from Sarasota see his own toes by summer?

Big yes 41%

Doubt it 59%

Will the printer work on the first try?

Yes sir 6%

Lol no 94%

Will this avocado be ripe today?

Yup 29%

Hard pass 71%

Will the package arrive on time?

100% 47%

Cope 53%

Will Maya from Madison's PR get reviewed before pigs fly?

Lock it in 22%

Touch grass 78%

Will AI write Hank from Reno's eulogy?

Affirmative 58%

Hard no 42%

Will Tasha from Savannah wake up before her alarm?

Bet 17%

Nah 83%

Will the group chat ever go silent?

Eventually 23%

Never 77%

Will Bruno from Hoboken's cat acknowledge him today?

Maybe 19%

Doubt it 81%

Will the elevator come within 90 seconds?

Yup 36%

Nope 64%

Will Lila from Eugene actually read the terms of service?

Sure 3%

Lol no 97%

I Can’t Believe
It’s Not Betting

“It’s not betting, it’s regretting.”

*Results may vary. Regret guaranteed.

Will Mercury be in retrograde when this fails?

Obviously 73%

Doubt it 27%

Will the train be on time for once?

Heck yes 21%

Hard pass 79%

Will Owen from Asheville leave the house this weekend?

Bet 31%

Cope 69%

Will the coffee actually be hot?

100% 52%

Nope 48%

Will Carlos from Albuquerque's phone battery last til bedtime?

Yes sir 39%

Lol no 61%

Will the season finale stick the landing?

Send it 35%

Doubt it 65%

Will the shared streaming password keep working?

Maybe 42%

Hard pass 58%

Will Ines from Pasadena beat the algorithm today?

Lock it in 28%

Big no 72%

Will the meeting end on time?

Bet 13%

Never 87%

Will Polly from Bismarck hit snooze more than three times?

Heck yes 79%

Doubt it 21%

Will the bus driver wait for Esme from Tempe?

Yes sir 18%

Nah 82%

Will the takeout arrive with everything?

Sure thing 32%

Lol no 68%

Will Walt from Bangor finish his book before he dies?

On god 51%

Doubt it 49%

Will autocorrect betray Nina from Kalamazoo again?

Absolutely 88%

Doubt it 12%

Will the neighbor's dog ever sleep?

Eventually 14%

Hard pass 86%

Will Rocco from Trenton's deodorant make it to lunch?

Bet 56%

Cope 44%

Will the latte art look like the menu?

Sure 21%

Lol no 79%

Will the IRS notice that "donation"?

Lock it in 62%

Doubt it 38%

Will Cassidy from Omaha slowly become her mother?

Already is 84%

Cope 16%

Will Tuesday become the new Monday?

Heck yes 53%

Hard no 47%

Will Devon from Akron's gym membership pay for itself?

Sure thing 14%

Lol no 86%

Will the meeting actually be an email?

Mmhm 64%

In your dreams 36%

Will the new diet last past Tuesday?

Sure thing 11%

Lol no 89%

Will Sienna from Tucson open her inbox before noon?

Yup 26%

Hard no 74%

Will Margo from Topeka remember why she walked into this room?

Eventually 24%

Never 76%

Will Reggie from Cleveland's favorite show get cancelled?

Affirmative 67%

Cope 33%

Will Davis from Chattanooga's hot take age well?

Sure 16%

Lol no 84%

Will the bagel place still have everything bagels?

Yup 48%

Cope 52%

Will Jamal from Hartford's landlord respond this month?

Maybe 25%

Hard no 75%

Will the office snacks survive Friday?

Maybe 9%

Never 91%

Will today turn into a side quest?

Send it 65%

Touch grass 35%

Does Katie from Poughkeepsie eat the broccoli she bought before it goes bad in the fridge?

Lock it in 18%

It's mush 82%